War: A Quest for Life

at the moment I am writing a novel called War: A Quest For Life and here is some of it. Please tell me what you think of it.

Intro.
If you love the books when the good guys always win and no one ever gets hurt, I advise you to choose another book. But if you like the kind of book that you cannot put down and nail biting till the last page; read on…

This is a story of a white teenager living with his black family; he was an orphan because his parents mysteriously died when he was young. Read about the hardships and pain he goes through, read about life, death, friendship and war; all jam packed in this brand new book, and all you need to do is open a page...

War: A Quest for Life.

Chapter: one

The Tough Beginning.



In the distant land, Calutania there is a boy named William. His mother and father mysteriously died when he was young so he got adopted by the Dorgon family. William was quite thin and muscular and his dark brown hair short and tidy.

William is of a light skin but his family of dark, they did not mind about this, but he got teased and insulted by the all the other boys about it. He lived in a small village with his older ‘brother’ and his ‘parents’. He is fifteen years old and his brother, Nanti, is seventeen. He, his older brother and his father go out and work their small field every day to get food and money. After he finished his work he would play with his two best friends, Manlo and Kinsa.
Kinsa was tall with short dark hair and Manlo was short with very untidy black hair. In the village it was a costom to have a party when a boy turns fifteen as now, it is said, that they are a man. Kinsa and William had already turned fifteen but Manlo only being fourteen, couldn’t wait until his birthday.
One day, when they were playing, Manlo’s father called him to come to the house and that he could bring William and Kinsa if he wanted to. So they walked with Manlo’s father to his house and wiped their dirty shoes on the doormat. “Come in; come in” said Manlo’s mother who had a smile from eye to eye. She and Manlo’s father lead the way to Manlo’s bedroom and on top of his bed was a long rectangular box covered in wrapping paper with a bright green card on the top. Manlo flung himself on the bed and read the card:

Dear Manlo
This is an early fifteenth birthday present. We hope you will put it to good use as we think you may need it in a time to come.
All our love,
Mom and Dad.


Manlo opened the wrapping at the speed of a ravenous dog digging into a big piece of meat. There was a black long box inside the wrapping which he open slowly and as soon as he took a glimpse at what was inside he ran to his parents and gave them a huge hug while thanking them every two seconds. “Take it out son” said Manlo’s father after Manlo had finished thanking them for the twenty-fourth time. So Manlo obeyed and put his hand into the box and in came back out with a shining silver sword with two blood red rubies at the top of each side of the hilt.
“It’s magnificent!” Said William and Kinsa together as Manlo took a swipe at the air and he by mistake put a huge slit in the curtains.
“Take it easy son, it very strong and you should use it only when in absolute need, it is not a toy, it is a tool” said Manlo’s father wisely.

P.S. I will post more as time goes by.